Someday.

Someday I will meet you. I will scoop you up, and hold you tight, and never let you go.

Someday I will kiss your faces and fall in love with your sweet baby smell.

Someday I will wake up to your soft breath against my cheek.

Someday I will watch you sleep and whisper quietly just how very much I love you.

Someday I will sing you a silly song and play peek-a-boo to make you laugh.

Someday I will tickle your bare tummies and nibble your wrinkly feet.

Someday I will hold you up high and thank God for bringing you into my life.

Someday we will tell Taylor about the amazing miracles that you were, and she will love you too.

Someday we will look for guidance, and there you will be…our three little guardian angels.

Someday my heart will be at peace, but I will never forget you.

Someday we will be together again.

God has brought you home, and I know that you are safe.
He will love you, and hold you, and comfort you until I can be with you again.
We will love you, and miss you, and think of you often until that special Someday.

*****

You're probably wondering what this means...I'm not even sure where to begin.

Matt and I found out about a month ago that I was pregnant again...a little sooner than we had planned, but we were excited nonetheless! I ended up having an ultrasound last week and we found out that we were not only having one baby...but two more! TRIPLETS! Crazy, right?! We were shocked to say the least, but after that initial shock wore off we were SO EXCITED! Well, after a week of talking and dreaming of babies in threes, late Wednesday night we suffered the most tragic loss. Our babies didn't make it. We knew it was "high-risk" but I just don't think those words ever truly sink in...you can't imagine this will happen until it's happening.

It's been a horrible week to say the least. I'm still physically going through the "process" and all I can do is hope it's over soon. Emotionally, we're trying our best but honestly, we're heartbroken. Our families are heartbroken too, but they've been so supportive, as usual. I can't even begin to tell you all the things that you start to think about when you realize that you're going to have 3 babies, and one that will barely be a year old when they're born! 4 high chairs, 4 carseats, a minivan, 2 sets of bunkbeds, etc. Christmas would have been magical, and birthdays a riot. What good little playmates the 4 of them would have been. I had already pictured them going off to Kindergarten together... These are just a few of the things that make my heart ache. But we're trying not to focus on those things, and when we can't help but let those thoughts into our minds, we try to smile and think "wouldn't that have been great?!"

Matt and I have each other, and we are so very thankful for that. I can't tell you how much he has helped me through this...there's no way in the world I could do this without him. We're grateful that Taylor's too young to understand what's going on...and one look at her sweet little face makes us melt. I think we've kissed her and thanked God a million times for her this week!

We're gonna hang in there...but we're going to let ourselves be sad too...we don't really have much choice. We know they are with God. We know that He knows best. He knew our 3 little babies were going to be very special angels, and He chose to bring them home.

*****

We will miss you little ones, but we will be together again, I promise.