Memory Lane.

That's where I've been most of today. Thinking about where I was and what I was doing exactly a year ago on this very day...

*at 9:00pm last night I thought to myself, 'this is when my contractions started!' From the very first one, I knew they were different...I knew this was it...it was time.

*at 7:15am this morning I heard a little girl babbling and jabbering away in her room...and that's when the tears started. It took me back to the first time I heard her cry...her sweet, little brand new voice...it melts my heart eveytime I hear it...especially when it's accompanied by a smile and "mama"

*while she ate waffles and bananas, a sandwich, strawberries, apples and yogurt, I remembered the overwhelming and immediate closeness that I felt when I nursed her for the first time...an amazing, incredible, instant bond between a mother and her newborn. My how far she has come...

*at 1:30pm I started crying thinking about how excited I was that my water just broke and we were on our way to the hospital...and also how scared I was that it was actually happening.

*at 3:30pm I cried thinking about how Matt held my hand and my family sat quietly by my side while I laid in a bed for HOURS with tubes sticking in/out of me.

*I've thought a lot about how much I needed my mom and my sister that day, how much I've needed them this past year, and how blessed I am to have 2 such amazing women to guide me on this amazing journey of motherhood.

*I've thought about how much I've learned in the last year...not just about being a mom, but about myself. It hasn't always been easy, but those difficult times have taught me to have patience, to "not sweat the small stuff," to slow down and appreciate what's right in front of me, and to not wish today away in hopes that tomorrow will be better...someday I'm going to wish for all of these days back again.

*I've thought about how God has shown me His greatness time and time again. Her smile...her laugh...her beautiful eyes...her determination...her innocence...her first step...her first word...her heart...her love for me...my love for her...her bond with her daddy that only his little girl could have...her adorable little bum...the joy she brings to everone around her. These things I would have never know had it not been by the grace of God.

*I can still feel the nervousness of making the decision that it was time to have a c-section...and also the excitement of knowing that I was finally going to meet my baby. I was about to be a mommy!

*Matt and I have known since the day we first met that we were meant to be together. We got married and became husband and wife. Then along came a little girl. She made us a family :)

I could go on and on about all of the things that have crossed my mind today...all the precious memories starting from the day she was born, right up until she closed her eyes tonight. I love that little girl fiercely, and with all of my heart and soul. In one year's time my heart has grown to twice the size that it was in the 30 years before her. A parent's love for their child is unimaginable...until it happens.

Happy Birthday, Beautiful :)

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In other news...Taylor had her one year check-up today. Way to go me for making her get shots on her birthday :( It was pretty terrible. However, we did get some good news...she's 28 inches tall and weighs exactly 20 lbs! You know what that means.....

We went from this...

...to this!!!

I can't explain to you how hysterical she was in her new carseat...my neck hurts from turning around and laughing with her the whole way home! She was SO EXCITED to be facing forward!!! She just couldn't stop jabbering, laughing, screeching, and wiggling! It was hilarious and adorable :) I hope she settles down a bit, or I'm gonna have a hard time keeping my eyes on the road while I'm driving!