What's up, Grubes?!

It's been awhile since we've caught up on life's more important stuff. Not just the day-to-day, look-how-cute-my-kid-is stuff, but the other stuff.

The good stuff. Ya know...the real stuff.

So, here we go.

*****

Matt.

Still workin' like a dog, and bringin' home the bacon.

With the weather being so nice, he's been able to go for a couple rides on his Harley, which always puts a smile on his face. It's a good way for him to get out of work mode, set aside his worries and frustrations, and clear his head. He always comes back in a better mood than when he left!

As with most guys, he now has basketball fever.

Can you say March Madness?!

Marquette's playing the UW tonight, and I think Wisconsin plays tomorrow...or Saturday. Anyway, I have a feeling I'll be doing a few things solo this weekend while the TV is on and his feet are up. Go ahead, babe...you deserve it!

He's been making plans for a big trip this summer too, possibly taking a few weeks off and driving cross-country! Or taking a week at a time and doing a few smaller trips. We're not sure where yet, but we've got some great ideas!

Dave Matthews is at the top of our list, as well as a family cabin in Montana...I'll let you know what we decide!

Oh, and did I mention he's still just as handsome as ever?? :)

*****

Taylor.

My little girl is quickly becoming a big girl, and she's not afraid to say it!

If I accidentally call her "my baby" she promptly reminds me "No mommy, I big girl."

Yes, I know.

There are so many things that she used to be really easy-going about that have now turned into a battle. For instance, brushing her teeth...or getting dressed...or going potty on the toilet. The last one, especially, is sooo frustrating for me.

She's a smart kid.

She knows when she has to go, and she knows when she's going.

She just doesn't wanna do it.

The frustrating part is that she was doing really well when we first started, and then it was like someone flipped a switch, and she turned straight around and went kicking and screaming right back the way she came. Today I told her that if she was just going to keep going in her pants, that she was going to start wearing diapers again. (afterall, Pull-Ups aren't cheap.) She said "no mommy, I not a baby, I big girl!" Since then, she's been dry and has made it to the potty several times on her own will.

We shall see.

I'm not getting my hopes up.

Setting all that aside...she is still the sweetest thing you'll ever meet.

She loves her babies so much...it actually makes me a little teary watching her mother her babies. She is so gentle, and so loving...tending to their every need.

She's been playing "house" a lot with her babies...and everything else really. Each of her babies is assigned a role...Daddy, Mommy, baby, etc. Usually she'll throw in a brother or sister too, which I think is so super sweet, since she doesn't have one of her own.

Today I heard her playing like this in her room and I peeked in as I walked by...she had her cars all lined up on the blanket, and was talking to them like they were her little friends playing house with her!

She has quite the imagination, this girl!

Everywhere we go and everyone we see, she asks "Who's that guy?" or "What's that girl's name?" Depending on who she's talking about, I'll sometimes say "I don't know her name, why don't you ask her?" So she does..."What's your name?"...they tell her their name and she says "Hi so-and-so!" and gives them a hug. Every. Time. So sweet.

(Tuesday we had lunch with Matt and visited him at work for a bit. Taylor was watching the guys in the mill working through the window, and saw a guy driving a forklift. She pointed and asked "What's that guy's name?" One of the ladies said "That's Bill." On our way home that day (and several times since then) she'd see someone working on the side of the road and say...

"Mommy, that guy's working?"

Me, "yep, he's working."

Taylor "What's his name?"

Me "I dont know his name...do you?"

"Bill."

Everyone with an orange vest and a hardhat is now Bill. :)

When I turn on the radio or play the ipod in the truck, it never fails that she wants me to put on her "kig songs" (kid songs) instead.

She still loves Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, but also really likes Handy Manny.

She sings! She sings these little made-up songs, and waves her arms and dances and twirls...like no one is watching. Wish I were that carefree.
She wants to be outside all the time. Thankfully we've had some beautiful sunny days and we've taken advantage of them!

She loves taking pictures. She has her own little digital kid's camera and walks around the house taking pictures of things (or me and Matt), looks at the picture, and says "Aww, cute! Wanna see?!" And everytime we have to look and say "Aww, cute!"

There are so many more things I could tell you about her...but I'm afraid I could do this all day. I'll stop here. :)

*****

Me.

Where to start.

Well first of all, I just want to say that if it's not already apparent, I am incredibly blessed.

I have a husband that I don't always deserve, and a daughter who makes my life fuller than I ever imagined possible. Seriously, these two are more important to me than anything.

I do, however, still feel like something's missing.

My heart still has 4 little holes in it.
Maybe it's the time of year.

Easter and Spring...everything coming to life, renewing itself, and blooming.

And here I am, still waiting.

Waiting for that little life.

Waiting for my spirit to be renewed.

Waiting for my body to do what it's supposed to know how to do.

I was reminded today that

"Patience is trusting in God's timing."

I'm trying. I'm really trying.

Since my surgery in October I haven't been ovulating regularly...and several months not at all.

I'm on a medication now that stimulates ovulation, so we'll see how it goes. I have one more round of these meds before we're referred to a specialist. A fertility specialist.

Who would've thought that having your second baby would be this hard??

Certainly not me.

We've talked about adopting and that's definitely an option for us, but for the time being we're just gonna try to keep the faith, and keep trying.

Most days I think it's gonna happen...in fact, most days I'm sure of it.

Other days, it's all I can do to keep myself from bursting into tears if I even see a baby on TV! Those days seem to suspiciouly coincide with PMS... ;)

Anyway, when the day comes that the little stick turns pink or blue, and gives me two lines or a cross, I'm going to be asking for your prayers.

I was cautious before about telling anyone, for fear that what ended up happening, would happen. Next time, I think I'd rather have a few extra prayers sent up, than be left to worry and pray on my own.

On a different note...I'm sooo excited to be going back to Phoenix in a few weeks!

Back to the NASCAR race!

Back to the sun!

Back in a bathing suit?!

Yikes.

I'm also looking forward to having Easter dinner at our house again this year! I have a few extra special things planned, but haven't started working on any of it yet...it's really crept up on me! Is it really possible that it's just 2 weeks away?!

Well, with that said, I think I'll get my Easter decorations out before Little Miss wakes up from her nap. I'm excited to see her little face when she sees all the bunnies and chickies!

Holidays are just so much more fun with little people around. :)

Great catching up...be back soon!

♥