On the homestretch!

3 weeks to go...

I really can't believe it.

I mean, on one hand it feels like I've been pregnant and waiting for this baby forever, and on the other hand it doesn't seem possible that he'll really be here in such a short amount of time!

I have to say though, I'm pretty much over being pregnant.

I hate to even say that, because there's a huge part of me that feels so guilty that I've been wanting and trying to be pregnant for so long and I should be savoring every second of it.

And all those times I heard people complaining about their pregnant state and wanting to scream 'cuz all I wanted was to be in their shoes.

But the truth is, I'm ready to have my baby.

There were so many times that I wasn't sure if this day would ever come.

I told myself to be prepared that I may never have another baby.

That's a hard pill to swallow when you've always pictured yourself with a house full of kids...

And to be honest, part of me is still holding out until he's in my arms, just to be sure he's really going to get here.

And then at my doctor's appointment yesterday I told my doc that I had made the decision to have my tubes tied after my c-section. {talk about a hard pill to swallow...}

It's something we've been talking about for awhile now, but I just wasn't ready to make that decision.  I'm finally seeing a dream come true and to think that the option of having that dream again in the future will no longer be there was something I just couldn't wrap my head around.

We've tried for so long.

We've experienced so much loss and felt so much heartache.

Were we really going to close this door just when it seems we've finally cracked it open??

In all reality...it's the right thing for us to do.

Me being pregnant is not fun for any of us.

For the first 20 weeks I'm a mess...physically and emotionally...a mess.

I feel sick and tired and selfish and guilty.

I have to poke myself 3 times a day.

It's expensive.

It's stressful.

It sucks for Matt.

And it sucks for Taylor.

And...I'm 35.

So, as hard as it was to come this decision, I feel ok with it now.

It still hurts a bit to think that door will be closed, but I think it will be a good way for me to move on from the "maybes" and the "what ifs."

If it's not an option, there's nothing to decide...

On a much lighter note, I packed baby boy's hospital bag the other day. :)

And, his bassinet is ready and waiting for him in our room.

I'm so excited and anxious to meet him!

Taylor asks every day when he's going to come out and how much bigger my tummy's going to get...she thinks it's pretty funny how huge it's gotten!

Matt told me the other day that I need to get my bag packed, too.  I kinda laughed and thought to myself that he was getting a little ahead of himself.  Cuz I still have like...wait...3 weeks???  Better get that bag packed...

And I am so on top of things that I made a hair appt for the week before so I don't have horrendous roots in the weeks after he's born, AND I have a pedicure date with one of my best girls that week, too!  A tired new mama's gotta atleast look good, right?!? :)

All of baby boy's clothes from Newborn-3 months are washed and folded or hung in his closet.

His changing table is stocked.

His bouncy seat, swing and carseat are all currently on his bedroom floor and waiting patiently to be moved to their final destination.

And I am so ready for him to get here!

Come on out soon, little man!

{But, not too soon...you heard what Tiffany said today, right?! :)}

Stay tuned!♥